Lessons Across Time: How to teach yourself, remember more and grow wiser

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Introduction: Conversations Across Time

Sam: They say that although the past cannot be changed, the future is yet in your power. Well, here today in the present, I am asking what if you could send advice to your future self or revisit the wisdom of your past, and by this I mean imagine having conversations with yourself across the years, and this isn't as crazy a thing to ask as it sounds.

In fact, I would argue that you are basically a time traveler sadly not the cool DeLorean driving hoverboard riding kind more the, I just woke up and now it's seven years later and I'm still making the same mistakes kind.

I mean, after all, the most profound lessons are the ones that you learn the hard way. ,

so on that, let's explore how to proactively start teaching ourselves lessons through time and think about ways that we can boost memory, maturity, and inner peace. I am Sam Webster Harris, and on [00:01:00] this episode of the Growth Mindset Psychology Podcast. I'll share some practical strategies, some fascinating psychology, and yes, I'll even share some of my own embarrassing stories because science says shame is a great teacher .

Now whether you are a journal keeper or a book visitor, or you're just curious about how to make your memories more meaningful, this episode is for you.

1 - The Power of Journaling

Sam: Voltaire said that writing is the painting of the voice. So let's start with journaling. It is a habit as old as writing itself, but its power does go beyond recording daily events. Journaling helps us process emotions, clarify decisions, and yes, crucially creates a time capsule of our thoughts and growth.

I am sure you are aware that there's plenty of research showing that writing a journal can improve your emotional wellbeing and enhance your working memory.

And in fact when we revisit old journals, we engage in metacognition, which is thinking about our own thinking. And that [00:02:00] is an essential key ingredient in developing wisdom and maturity. So basically when you write stuff, you are gifting your future self. A book about you full of your weird thoughts, questionable decisions, and the occasional, oh my God, I think I'm a genius moment, which may or may not turn out to be true.

Personal Story: Sailing Adventures

Sam: Back when I was 18, I landed a gig sailing around the Caribbean, which I was very excited about, and my sister gave me a journal for my adventures.

Now as it turns out, my first captain, let's say, was a bit of a nightmare and I was living alone with him on the boat. And he'd just tell me off for anything I did basically. And then if I did the opposite thing, he'd tell me off for that. And looking back now, I, it's pretty obvious that he had some issues, , but you know, I didn't know that . And then he'd also give me like life advice about how to be a man and how to talk to women, and then he'd act completely the opposite way and just be a complete idiot.

Anyway, [00:03:00] initially as a naive 18-year-old, I was looking up to him as this cool surfer dude living the dream with his boat, but with my journal, I slowly came to the conclusion that he was an idiot . And that internal conversation helped me feel sane at the time. and then seven years later I found the journal whilst I was clearing out my room. having forgot about it

and I reread it and I laughed so much at just my own naivety, my jokes, and the rereading of that journal was like a real turning point for me because I realized I could actually write things that were funny and interesting to listen to. ' . Because at school I basically failed English and was told that I should just do maths.

And so having this realization that actually I can say fun things, uh, set me on a path to becoming the writer and podcaster I am today.

So when people say journaling changed their life, it can actually be true. There is something very magical about being transported back to a younger version of yourself. Whether that's the language you use, the [00:04:00] worries, the humor. They just will remind you of how far you've come.

And it is a gift to see your own growth in black and white.

So, yeah, if you've wondered about doing it, I would recommend buying an actual paper journal , and write anything you feel like. If you want some prompts, try discussing what you're struggling with right now or what advice you might give to yourself today. Like, it really doesn't matter.

Sam TONOR: NinjaSwoosh

Sending Messages to Your Future Self

Sam: Now the next way is a more controlled way to teach yourself through time, and that is by sending quite literally messages to your future self, whether that's an email scheduled to arrive on your birthday, a letter sealed for five years, or a digital time capsule,

research actually shows that feeling connected to your future self makes you more likely to make wise long-term decisions.

Now this is one of my favorite exercises. I have sent myself future emails on birthdays, new Years, even random Tuesdays and in it I'll talk about all sorts of things

I might talk about a leap I'm thinking about making. Other times I'll be asking my future self if he sold his Bitcoin or not. Sometimes I just [00:05:00] rant about my current problems or talk about how in love I am, et cetera. And opening these emails later in the future is just like opening a message from a parallel universe. Sometimes I'm proud of myself. Sometimes I cringe. I mean, like, . A lot of the time I cringe, but I am always reminded that I'm a work in progress and it's a really cool thing to try. You can use a good tool.

Called future me.org. If you want to schedule emails, which is the most practical way of doing it, . Some people even record some audio or video to send to themselves.

People even create these like time capsules, like a physical box you can even bury in your yard if you want

in fact, one of my favorite bosses that I ever had, at the University Innovation Lab, he had us write our three biggest personal goals on a postcard, and then he literally sent them to us like 10 years later, which it was such a cool thing to receive because we'd obviously all completely forgotten about it.

And I was amazed by the dreams that I was thinking about and had [00:06:00] continued to work on in different ways and how much progress I'd made and.

It was so nice just to revisit that period from 10 years ago and be like, damn, I remember being so excited to hopefully get there and having no idea how I would do it. , and yeah, if you mentor anyone, I would recommend doing that for them because it's such a cool thing to start thinking more longer term.

And of course you can do this for yourself as well. If you start anything new, whether it's a podcast or a business or you move to a new country, I really urge you to record your thoughts as you're starting off. Like what do you think's gonna happen? What are your goals for the thing?

What would be a nice achievement in a year or five years time? And then open it in the future and it'll just be so cool to look back on yourself. Um, of course there's the classic story of Mr. Beast. When he was like a new YouTuber with no viewers He made his famous video He said it to publish in like five years time, and in it, he was like, oh, I hope I have a million subscribers. I hope I'm famous. The time it published, of course he was like the biggest YouTuber on the planet. which leads to another core quote by Eleanor [00:07:00] Roosevelt who says, the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Which I think Mr. Bees clearly did. So maybe you should too. Pick a meaningful date, birthday, new Year's, halfway point, write a letter, video, whatever to your future self and it will be there waiting for you.

The Impact of Revisiting Old Favorites

Sam: Now onto my third idea, and that is rereading and re-listening to some of your favorite and most impactful things, generally speaking, I would say like your favorite books or podcast

it's such a good way to track your growth. Each time that you return, you are actually a different person and you'll notice different things.

As it Calvino says, a classic is a book , that has never finished saying what it has to say.

This ties well into the concept from psychology about narrative identity. The idea that our life stories evolve as we do. So when you revisit a book or a podcast, you're not just reliving the story, you're seeing it through the lens of your current experiences and beliefs.

For me, I first really noticed [00:08:00] this when I read the book, Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, I think the first time I listened to it, I was in India after I'd launched an AI business in Hong Kong. That turned into a complete failure and listening to the book , was really nice.

Taught me not to worry about money too much, what other people think.

' cause you know, at the time I was feeling a bit lost, unsure about my future, questioning my self worth and I really resonated with the book around the whole life is a game. My worries are often illusions and helped me find perspective piece, et cetera. Then a year later, '

I listened to it again one Christmas just whilst I was out running the book really spoke to me , about different things like family acceptance and just the waves that we go through in life. So it was a completely different experience

from the same book?

The book hadn't changed. I, of course had, so it became an annual ritual for me for a while

and it always helped me step back from my own concerns and ego at a nice time of year to do it.

There's a saying that every time you read a book, you absorb a new version of yourself.

And if you honestly feel like you can't think of a book [00:09:00] you would enjoy rereading, then you are probably reading the wrong sorts of books. However, beyond books, you can revisit podcasts, films, and of course, as we've mentioned, your own notes and journals.

The key is to just approach things with curiosity.

And I honestly can't recommend this enough.

I feel like we used to have more time to rewatch movies, and these days it feels like it's all about new stuff. Like we're in a race to consume everything that's ever been made and we have to keep up with everything that's going on, which is ridiculous

and is one of the many reasons that are adding to the general feeling of burnout and overwhelm.

Last week I was rewatching the White Lotus Series from the start, even though it's a relatively new TV series, because it's just very well written, pulls on so many timely things in society that it's cool to just see how the stories were told, And a few years later to see it from new eyes gives you the space to actually learn things better , when you aren't lost in just the first part of the story.

And my last point on this area is I've actually spoken to some of my [00:10:00] listeners to this show and when I was chatting with Taylor McCaskill, he'd re-listened to my one episode about the 10 questions of stoicism, literally 10 times because it kept teaching him new things.

And I was like, damn, I actually should do more of that , with podcast episodes. And I have genuinely enjoyed doing that more often. So thanks Taylor for the inspiration.

Recording Conversations with Loved Ones

Sam: Right now let's talk about recording your conversations with family and friends.

A great Buddhist monk once said that the most precious gift, we can offer anyone is our attention , and your loved ones in your life are literally living libraries of wisdom and experience. I would really recommend recording a conversation, even just for like five minutes.

With some of your family or friends, and doing this not only preserves their stories, but creates a really fun legacy for future generations Like, , imagine being able to share your mom's advice with your own grandchildren

or for yourself, being able to hear some of her stories when you need them most. When you bother to make them, these recordings . They capture not just [00:11:00] words, but voices, laughter, and the unique quirks that make all the people in your life who you love so much who they are.

. And honestly, if you do it, it's amazing how many wild stories about your parents. That they have probably never told you because there was never a reason to.

The other day, my partner found out that her mom once pretended it was her birthday on April Fool's Day, while she was flying. This was in the nineties, , and the flight attendants took her seriously. 10 minutes later, the captain goes onto the airline being like, we've got a birthday on board.

Then like the entire plane was given champagne because of her birthday. Later they let her go in the cockpit. So besides the fact that it shows the nineties were crazy, it was also just funny that my partner had never even heard this story about her mom before.

, so yes, it's worth asking some random questions.

Definitely a reminder myself that I need to start doing this with my own family 'cause I haven't yet done it. , I did record a conversation with my neighbor Dom a few months before he died, it was such a nice thing to do I should really do this with my own family more than a few months before they die.

So I am coming for [00:12:00] you mom and dad with a recorder. As they say, everyone you know is literally the youngest they will ever be. So don't wait around on this one like I have and get your act together already.

If you want some tips on things to say, you can just Google good questions to ask your parents, or chat GPT

or just get 'em to talk about their younger selves or some of the best advice they received or something they wish they'd knew when they were your age. And save these recordings. You will thank yourself and me and so will your family. Okay, at this point we are gonna take a short break and then we'll be back to learn , about ways to split up the year and have better reviews.

How to revisit and learn from your own work and how to mentor yourself across time.

Catch you after the break.

Sam: . All righty.

The Concept of Life Reviews

Sam: Let's talk about life reviews. Not the My Life Flash before My eyes kind, but more the, what the hell am I doing with my year? Anyway, kind.

Experimenting with 12-Week Sprints

Sam: Something I found incredibly useful is splitting the year into 12 [00:13:00] week sprints.

and It's a bit like giving yourself four new years instead of one. There's less pressure, more chances to reset and if that doesn't sell you on it, well, there's more reasons to buy yourself a cake for your review week. So maybe that one will

the Great TS Elliot said that what we call the beginning is often the end, and to make an end is also to make a beginning.

By increasing the rate of ending and starting things, we're directly leaning into cow direct's research and growth mindset.

' cause the point is to reflect on your progress and not seek perfection

if you break your year into smaller chunks, it's easier to stay motivated, adapt to changes, , and this starts to naturally build resilience and motivation.

Also from a psychology standpoint, , I genuinely think the 12 week year, is actually easier to think about.

There's a reason school terms are generally 12 weeks long. There's a reason design bootcamps are 12 weeks long. And if you lean into it, it will really help you structure your projects.

For this show, I've done quite a lot of experiments for a [00:14:00] quarter at a time.

In one quarter I did a different season a month, well, a season on stoicism, romance and biases. And by the end of it, I started a new quarter where in that quarter I did three episodes a week, which was too much and taught me about my limits and what I enjoy. Then the quarter after that, I did mainly research-led psychology episodes, pairing them with shorter life tips episodes.

And that I found more manageable than the burnout of three episodes a week , or the overwhelming feeling that I never wanted to talk again about stoicism, which I had after the stoicism season. , so lucky for me, I didn't become a stoicism podcaster because I would've given up already.

As you can see, each cycle taught me something new about myself as a creator, whilst also giving me enough time to get my head down and make stuff happen, and really feel what it's like to do the thing.

Once you've done the 12 weeks, of course, the key aspect is having the review that I spoke about.

is a really practical way to regroup, avoid burnout, and take on more ambitious projects that will test your limits.

I mean, my new show now, [00:15:00] the How to Change the World Podcast I've been talking about that involves me reading like three books an episode because I'm crazy, but.

That involved a lot of experimenting. First to work out what I can do anyway, the 12 week year, super practical way to treat your life as a series of experiments while still spending most of your life in execution mode.

Cal direct would call this the growth mindset. I might call it. Not losing your mind

either way, I think you'll thank me later, and if you didn't listen to the episode on Tuesday, I'm actually off on two weeks from today to go cycling, which I am excited about, but that's enough of me talking about my holiday.

Let's move on to the next point, which is me talking about what I actually talk about.

Sam: Yes.

Revisiting Your Own Work

Sam: Number six is about revisiting your own work. As Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. As a podcaster myself, I have the unique pleasure of revisiting my own old interviews and personal advice, and sometimes I'm struck by how much I've grown or [00:16:00] where I haven't at all.

, when it comes to interviews, I can learn more from an old interview than I can from a new one. It's crazy and it's super nice to see my own evolution, tighten my thinking,

and then even share some of my deeper, more refined insights with listeners.

It really helps remind you that growth is just a journey and not a destination. If you're serious about growth, reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools for success. So whatever you are doing personally, whether that's something creative like writing, podcasting, or art, or even if you have a more manual job

or you're in sales or receptionist, I'd still recommend taking time to revisit your earlier work or your earlier ways of doing work, and you'll be surprised what you can learn from your past self.

And if you are a podcaster that's been working for like many, many years, I would consider revisiting some of your old episodes and seeing if you can reproduce them from a different angle and reflect on your old interviews and share new insights. I.I should say at this point, I will have to admit I have been a little bit overwhelmed over the last few months , and [00:17:00] possibly mildly burnt out from doing a bit too much reading on my new show whilst trying to juggle this show.

And in my time off, I will definitely be reflecting on how to make it more sustainable.

I currently run three shows. If you weren't aware. That's this one. My book, podcast,

and the new show about how to change the world. And I do them all entirely by myself without an editor or producer. I even make the music on the new show. Which is possibly too much, but I do like making music, so it's nice to have a release.

So all of this adds up to the fact that I have had to run a few more repeats on this show than I am actually comfortable with. And I'm sorry if you have felt like you've heard things before, cause, if you are a listener that's been with me for a few years, then you probably would've heard a few of the episodes lately before,

as I have already mentioned this episode, I like to roll in three month experiments. So going forwards this summer, I think I'm going to try and make one new episode once a week for the Tuesdays, like this one, and then on the Friday episodes I'll do a revisit by reproducing an old interview from years ago that I think I can do a much better job of [00:18:00] now as I've grown ,

And I think this could work well. The show is literally, eight years old and I've made over 500 episodes, so most of the listeners haven't even heard 90% of the content anyway.

And if you have then often hearing a topic again , that I genuinely think is worth mastering, like after three years is probably a worthwhile pursuit.

Because, hey, we don't just learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on the experiences.

And that leads us into the last section about mentoring ourselves across time

Mentoring Yourself Across Time

Sam: As Abraham Lincoln is famous for saying, the best way to predict your future is to create it. And you can think of your past, present, and future selves as a mentorship chain.

We've already spoken about recording your thoughts , for future You to find, but you can invert this and write messages for yourself now , from hypothetical, previous, or future versions of yourself . Or in the moment. Now, you yourself can give advice to yourself 10 years ago.

And often what you'll find [00:19:00] is the things that you struggle with 10 years ago that you tell yourself to not worry about are probably things that you still worry about here now in the present. So you can basically turn yourself into your own guiding Yoda figure, perhaps a bit less green and maybe more confused, but that's fine. This exercise is just here to help therapists actually often use this exercise to help people , heal their old wounds, and reinforce growth. And they love it because it helps you see how far you've come a kind way, helps you see how much you still have to learn.

To be fair, it's never bad to forgive yourself for being a bit of a doofus in your twenties.

So if you have a moment, , try writing a letter , to your past self. Like, Hey, don't worry too much about what people think. Maybe invest in some Bitcoin and Apple, et cetera. Or you could write to your future self being like, I hope you finally and start running more often.

And delete social media already because it's useless.

You can keep these letters if you want. You can also throw them in the fire depending on what your personal needs call for.

Regardless. Just remember, you are never too old , to set new goals or dream a [00:20:00] new dream. And this might help you unblock some of the things that have blocked you over your past years,

and that leads us up towards the end.

Building a Life Library

Sam: I actually have a final bonus idea for you here, which is to try building the concept of a life library. A bit of a greatest hits album for your brain. This could be some of your favorite quotes, lessons, things that you wish you'd remembered before making the same mistake for like the fifth time.

And I would also really recommend printing out some photos to go with it. Even making photo books to do this with.

Because your memory simply isn't as good as you think it is in the moment, and there's so much stuff that happens in your life that makes you feel good. That you should have access to more often. Like sometimes I lose motivation and it can be so nice to read some of the crazy kind things people have told me or sent me 'cause one of the episodes helped them at a bad time , or talking about how they love tuning into every new episode.

And it reminds me how surreal it is that I get to just. Follow my own interests and write about things that I [00:21:00] found fascinating or perplexing. And that somewhere out there in the world, someone else is enjoying going on that journey with me. it's crazy.I didn't really expect this to happen. And

and it's so useful to have a nice kind story to tell myself as opposed to the easy one. Like, why are you so stupid, Sam, to have not got the episode ready again? And you're up editing until 2:00 AM for like the hundredth time .

I think we should all have some slightly nicer, kinder stories that we can tell ourselves more readily available.

That reminds us about who we are and what gets us excited and what makes us feel good.

Sam: there you have it.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Sam: As we've learned, you are actually a time traveler. Your memory definitely isn't very perfect and is in fact kind of messy. Despite that, your best teacher is almost certainly yourself.

So if you like these thoughts, maybe try sharing it with someone so that you don't all forget about it. And try at least one or two of these ideas this week. and let me know your favorite, whether that be cracking open your journal, sending yourself a future [00:22:00] email, rereading, your favorite book.

, or if you don't do any of the others, at least try recording a short, silly chat with your mum and you won't regret it.

Engage with the Community

Sam: If you have a personal story about learning from your past self, I'd love to hear it and please drop it in the comments or send me an email at Growth Mindset podcast@gmail.com

and there is a link to book a call with me on Wednesdays if you ever wanted to have a chat that link is in the description. Right.

Preview of Next Week's Episode

Sam: In terms of next week, I will be talking about my favorite lessons on life and creativity from the master, Rick Rubin and his book, the Creative Act. And until then, keep growing.

Closing Remarks

Sam: Don't take yourself too seriously , and remember that future you is watching and they are probably rolling their eyes at

how naive, stupid, and also how gloriously young and healthy you are right now. So enjoy every day, and just in case I haven't hit you with enough quotes today, in the words of the great George Bernard Shaw, life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

So hopefully [00:23:00] some of these prompts helped you think more about how you can do just that.

Thank you so much for listening. Go you. Your consistency to reach the end of an episode is legendary, my hero. If you have any ideas or feedback for the show, I'm always interested to hear from you. You're the best studies show. We need time for information to sink in, so I'm going to give you a five second pause, silence to reflect on one idea from the show before you jump back into your busy life.

Ready and go.