March 4, 2025

The psychology of control - why your brain overcomplicates everything

We all know smart people make dumb decisions. But why?

Show Notes

We all know smart people make dumb decisions. But why?

Why do gamblers double down when they should walk away?
Why do we check our phones 58 times a day?
Why do people micromanage their partners and get confused when they become distant?

We are all suckers for the illusion of control.

We are convinced that our meddling is needed to achieve our desired outcome. Sadly this misses the important fact that we are causing all our problems.

The episode covers all sorts of personal problems from addictions to relationships, investing to anger and how control is at the heart of our problems.

Whether you are high on neuroticism or curious about how the mind works we have a tonne of good stuff:

Recognize your "control triggers" – situations where your grip tightens and makes things worse
Practice intentional surrendering in low-stakes situations to build your letting-go muscles
Replace control with curiosity by asking "What happens if I don't try to fix this?"

Learn to stop wrestling with life and start dancing with it.

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Related Episodes

5 Science-backed ways to stop disappointing yourself - Spotify - Apple
The Psychology of Mistakes - 7 types of lazy thinking - Spotify - Apple
4 Hidden fears that sabotage your life - and what to do about them - Spotify - Apple

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