March 4, 2025

The psychology of control - why your brain overcomplicates everything

The psychology of control - why your brain overcomplicates everything

We all know smart people make dumb decisions. But why?

We all know smart people make dumb decisions. But why?


  • Why do gamblers double down when they should walk away?
  • Why do we check our phones 58 times a day?
  • Why do people micromanage their partners and get confused when they become distant?


We are all suckers for the illusion of control.


We are convinced that our meddling is needed to achieve our desired outcome. Sadly this misses the important fact that we are causing all our problems.


The episode covers all sorts of personal problems from addictions to relationships, investing to anger and how control is at the heart of our problems.


Whether you are high on neuroticism or curious about how the mind works we have a tonne of good stuff:

  • Recognize your "control triggers" โ€“ situations where your grip tightens and makes things worse
  • Practice intentional surrendering in low-stakes situations to build your letting-go muscles
  • Replace control with curiosity by asking "What happens if I don't try to fix this?"


Learn to stop wrestling with life and start dancing with it.



Upgrade to Premium:

๐Ÿ–๏ธ Ad-free listening

๐Ÿค˜ Support the show

๐Ÿ”“ Exclusive AMAs and bonus content

๐Ÿ’ฌ Community Discord

GrowthMindset.Supercast.com



Related Episodes

  • 5 Science-backed ways to stop disappointing yourself - Spotify - Apple
  • The Psychology of Mistakes - 7 types of lazy thinking - Spotify - Apple
  • 4 Hidden fears that sabotage your life - and what to do about them - Spotify - Apple



Get in Touch

๐Ÿ‘‹ Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset

๐Ÿ“ง Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com



Growth Mindset Psychology:

Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.

๐Ÿ“บ Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset)

๐Ÿ›œ Website - Growth Mindset



Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement


Episode: The psychology of control - why your brain overcomplicates everything


Chapters:

00:00 Introduction: Why Smart People Make Dumb Decisions

00:30 The Science of Control

02:00 Personal Story: The Quad Bike Incident

05:51 The Illusion of Control

07:02 Addiction and Control

09:03 Reactance Theory: Why We Rebel

10:14 Attachment Styles and Control in Relationships

12:32 Paradoxical Intentions: Embracing the Opposite

15:30 Understanding and Managing Anger

18:43 Quieting the Default Mode Network

20:18 The Joy of Surrender

21:09 Show Updates: Embracing Change

22:58 The New Show Concept: The Psychology of Everything

25:25 The Importance of Growth and Change

26:03 Final Thoughts on Control and Surrender

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices