Where To Spend Your Life Energy: A 3-step framework for brilliance

Optimise your life for working on what truly matters and relaxing and being down-right lazy when it doesn't. We are taught this notion of applying effort everywhere and that every thing is important. But the reality is that you need to apply the most leverage in a few places with all your energy and be very chill every where else.
It's not just what you do, it's how you do it.
We are increasingly bombarded with demands and equally confused by how important everything seems.
Growing up every year the next exam will make or break the rest of your life... The reality is some things don't matter and other things matter much more than you will ever know.
Saying hi to that stranger that becomes your wife, helping a friend start that stupid idea, putting way too much effort into a dinner party.
We only have so much time and energy and many parts of life we can do more than get away with the minimum but actively seek to do as little as possible. In other parts we should raise hell to bring our full brilliance into play.
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Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
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Chapters
00:00 00:00 The 90% Trap
01:46 Being "Done" vs Incomplete
02:16 The Struggle for Perfection
04:59 When Average is Enough
08:03 The Fisherman's Wisdom
10:11 Striving for the Extraordinary
12:51 Finding Your Balance
13:51 Send Off
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[00:00:00]
The 90% Trap
If you have ever worked in the world of software development, you may have heard a developer or even yourself say that something is 90% done, and at this point, an alarm bell might ring as you realize that there is another 90% left to still do before anything is complete
and it's an annoying and frustrating mental headache to accept that the much bigger hill only comes into clarity After you finished the first smaller hill that you could only see at the start,
and I can say that with truth as someone who was a developer for a few years and then ran a software development agency for a while. But it's the same with many things.
you could write an entire draft of a book.
But if you don't go through and rewrite it and get it to something that you can put out and just never publish it, you've actually put zero books into the world. Some things in life do just need to be completed before there's really any value in the thing. Being done doesn't need to be perfect, but it just needs to be done
In real life, six times [00:01:00] half a project doesn't equal three projects. It equals zero completed projects.
And being a human, which we all are, we can often be tempted to do less than is required. Perhaps we are busy or there are maybe too many options to choose from, and we'll do a bit of all of them. Maybe we are struggling with some. Unidentified resistance and just unwillingness to face the difficulty head on.
there are, of course, many reasons to not finish something, but they are not good excuses. They will not help you if you only show up and give a little bit. Sometimes you will get no benefit and all. And these are the places where less than one is still zero. So hello and welcome to the Growth Mindset Podcast with me, Sam Webster Harris.
Being "Done" vs Incomplete
Today we are having a super short and sharp episode on the delightful differences between things that are either done or not done. Areas in life where we should in fact aim to be average or mediocre. And that's actually the best [00:02:00] thing we should be doing.
And finally, areas in life where we should dedicate our entire passionate and creative energy and everything we have into doing something spectacular.
and of course, by learning about these, we're going to know which one is which and when to be doing what.
The Struggle for Perfection
As I've been saying, some things don't need perfection, often an issue we have with completing things is that the goal maybe is too big and we want to take too many steps all at once
and do them all correct, and instead we actually take some of the wrong steps to write a book, for example, you don't need to get it all correct on the first attempt. In fact, many authors say it's better to write five bad pages a day than one perfect page a day.
just get your head down and write something until you have that first draft done, and then put it away and let it sit for a while, then come back to it, having had a break and start trying to turn all of those bad pages into something slightly better each day for another few months and so on, and just don't give up.
Another issue here is our [00:03:00] personalization And our worries about what people will think about us
and this isn't just book writing. This is anything in life, even something as simple as having a meeting with a friend,
we can really fret about coming across our best and being.on good performance to leave a good impression, especially if it's someone we respect. And I've noticed people can reject a lot of their potential social interactions based purely on their state of readiness. Now of course, if you're going to be moody or bring someone down or else you hang out with them, or if you're just really not up for something, of course it makes sense to avoid social interactions during those time periods.
but a lot of the time that's not the problem. The fact that we're unable to match the expectations in our head of what we want to be versus what we expect we will be. And maybe we have an unrealistic social media like version of ourself that we portray to the world that most of the time we're not going to be able to fulfill.
And that really shouldn't be blocking you In fact, one of the most important parts of being a friend is simply being a witness and a [00:04:00] part of someone's life and their experiences. If you miss half of them because you want to be on your best, you're missing the point.
If you're not ready to have someone to come over to your house, because if it's a mess right now, like get over it.
If you can't just pick up a phone and call someone and you have to arrange a meeting at the time that you actually call, again. You need to get over it. We didn't used to be scared of calling people yet. Now most millennials and younger can't pick up a phone for their friends at a random time to say hi other than just their one or two best friends.
Like those are the only people they will call.
And so trying to arrange a call that never quite happens it is not completing the task. You get zero points for that. If you pick up the phone, say hi for five minutes before you get on the train, it's still an actual phone call. And is it perfect? No. Is it actually doing something?
Yes.
Anyway, those were all some further points around the concept of like, is a task done or is it something that you try to do something and just never completed it, and so you get zero reward for it.
When Average is Enough
Now [00:05:00] let's move on to the concept of average and mediocre and when it can be a good goal.
Our ego has a desire to be better than others.
If you ask people a hundred years ago how happy they would be if they could travel in safety at a hundred kilometers an hour to go to see friends or to go to work. If they could travel in safety at 500 kilometers an hour to get to the other side of the world in a day, they would be. Amazed if you told them that they could work from home, just passing some ideas around on a digital screen and even if they earned minimum wage, that would be enough for them to buy
Fresh food coming to them from different parts of the world. In any season that they would have healthcare available that could cure cancers, they wouldn't have half their children wiped out from just general diseases. well, they would find it hard to imagine them having any problems or difficulties.
now that all humans living in the first world have those basics available to them, [00:06:00] suddenly we all feel quite unimpressed with what we have at a basic level because we can see loads of people around us with better than just that.
We forget that as an individual human alive today, we have an easier and enviable life compared to. Any human in history, even the richest human from a hundred years ago, you would not want to swap their life with
'cause you could die going to the dentist.
There would be lead in your water, cocaine in your coke, which might be a good thing for you. I don't know. and people thought radiation might be healthy yeah. Anyway, back to the point. The problem is that if we feel average, there is a big association with the concept of it being mediocre and an even bigger problem.
That the concept of mediocre is bad. Things can be average, and the only reason we want it to be better is actually our ego and the way we perceive ourselves in the world compared to others. We often don't need all the extras. Often it is the extra trying and [00:07:00] seeking that makes you unhappy. Even
It leaves you as an individual optimized for seeking and yet completely inept at finding. There are many people who spend their whole life chasing something bigger and better that they don't know how to actually just be. , their mental models aren't equipped for the concept of success.
An easy example would be entrepreneurs working so hard in a startup for several years, constantly putting out fires, dealing with unknowns, amount of terrible things going on, and suddenly one day they can sell for like maybe a few million, maybe many millions, And they spent their whole life wiring themselves for stress that they don't even know how to relax.
And Sure. That's a pretty obvious example that you might not relate to, but perhaps a more in anyone is, like, many people just have a, to do this, to things that annoy them. Like, oh, if the dog was better behaved, if the door was fixed.
If my partner would speak to me about this better, if my job paid me like slightly more money then finally I would be happy and it's constantly [00:08:00] putting happiness, just that little bit too far out of reach.
The Fisherman's Wisdom
There is a classic tale about hard work and achievement about a fisherman and a businessman. One day, a businessman was at the beach and he sees a man fishing. The man catches a fish after just a few minutes. He takes this glorious, shiny fish over to a restaurant just a hundred meters away.
The restaurant buys it off him and the fishermen. Packs up for the day and chills out on the beach. just seems to be relaxing. The businessman spotting an opportunity, walks over to him and asks him what he's doing. Well, the fisherman says, why I'm enjoying my afternoon, he says, and I'm just getting ready to go pick up my daughter and we're gonna get some ice cream and play.
Well, the businessman knows this as a very silly thing. He's like, but you could be fishing, says the businessman. You have a customer happy for your product and you're just wasting your time wondering about on the beach. No, no. You are a very good fisherman. I saw how fast you were
the fishermen seem surprised. Well, firstly, thank you. I do have a lot of experience and know the waters [00:09:00] and can fish very well, but. I dunno what you mean by wasting my time. He says, businessman replies. Well, you could still be fishing and making a profit and with that you could eventually save up and buy a boat.
And then what replies the fishermen?
Well, of course, with a better work ethic of using all your time then trying a little harder than all the other lazy people around here. You could quickly buy a few boats and you could start a larger fishing company. Ooh. But fishermen still looks a bit confused. and then what?
Well, of course after that you could build a factory and you could be selling fish all over the country. Fishermen's still a bit confused. and then what? Well after like 10, maybe 20 years of real work, why you could sell the business and retire a rich man to the beach here, and maybe even buy that restaurant that pays you just enough to live each day.
that's what I mean when I say you are wasting your time. You silly fool and the fisherman replies. Well, why would I do all of that and try 10, 20 years of my life
when I'm already [00:10:00] here on the beach and can do what I like?
The point is that it's actually okay and maybe sometimes even better to be average or mediocre when average is enough and gives you everything you need.
Striving for the Extraordinary
And now that we've thought about where maybe being mediocre is good, we can move on to when we should actually aim for perfection or grandiosity.
coming up after the break.
Seth Godin has a brilliant little quote. He says that if you are in need of a gathering place, a dry, functional, centrally located facility for your folks to meet a cathedral is probably way more than you need. It's far more expensive to build and maintain and it's not exactly optimal in this delivering a little meeting place is it? But what if this building needs to fill other functions as well? Perhaps you need to send a message to your membership about longevity, [00:11:00] status, commitment.
Perhaps it's a signal to the local governments that you have real resources and you're not to be trifled with, or perhaps it's a beacon designed to attract people who haven't heard about your work. Or maybe it is something that you build simply because you can.
When we rush for to be serviceable for efficiency, we race to the bottom but the thing that we are working on is a rare chance to contribute something far more than the least we could get away with. You can't build a cathedral every day and you can't do it cheaply, but sometimes we get the chance to create something that really matters.
So thank you, Seth for that answer. Occasionally in life there is a chance where we should make a stand. We should pour our energy headlong into something bigger than ourselves sometimes for a reason. No better than because we can. What is the point of potential if you never [00:12:00] use it And when I say that, I do sincerely believe that most people don't get slightly close to achieving their potential.
It is one of the reasons I run this podcast, after all, to help nudge you, the listener, a little bit closer to meeting your potential. In 1969, man walked on the moon and it's so difficult for us to do that and outrageously expensive to do that. We've actually lost the ability to do it for the past 50 years.
But why did they bother? Because they wanted to push the limits of what humans could do. and they wanted to learn because we could. Now, do you need a really concrete reason to cycle around the world or to write a fantasy novel or to run the length of Africa?
Shout out to Russ Cook for just running the length of Africa. No, you don't need a good reason for doing it, but if you can do it. You certainly should.
Finding Your Balance
So backtracking to what we've learned in this podcast, sometimes we have decisions that we need to make and we need to understand what the requirement [00:13:00] for the task is to be done that we are doing.
Is this a task that just needs to be completed? And if it isn't finished, there's no point in even starting. Is this a task that you should aim to be average in and just enjoy yourself?
And not waste time getting lost in trying to do something to please other people's standards that aren't your own. Or finally, is this a task that needs to be grander, that needs to be the place where you make your stand and just do something absolutely nuts that fulfills your potential, perhaps for no other reason than because you can,
And I really hope this episode helps you get some things done that just need to be done. helps you stop doing a bunch of things that don't need to be done, where you can aim to be average and just happier and to do something slowly, outrageous, and amazing because of at some point in your life, it's worth doing something a bit nuts.
Send Off
If you think anyone would enjoy this episode, please share it with them because that is how we grow.
If an idea was sparked in your imagination and you had an [00:14:00] aha moment, share it in the reviews and comments because it helps me know what kind of things I should be making. And feedback is of course a gift.
And if you think I did help, and if you might enjoy working with me as a coach, perhaps while I'm giving away two, free months of coaching to a prize winner in a competition that you can play, it's pretty simple. You just have to subscribe to my new podcast, how to Change the World about the History of Innovation, and send me an email sharing a screenshot.
And bonus points if you can give it a rating.
That's about it.
Otherwise, as always, the listeners can book a short call with me on Wednesdays 'cause I like to get to know people.
And on that, don't put off your happiness in life until some future goal
when every day of your life is lived one day at a time until it is over. So the more of those days that you can enjoy the better, rather than using your time hypothetically to bank some future happiness that you might never even experience. As they positively say, get busy living or get busy dying.
Thank you so much for [00:15:00] listening. Go you. Your consistency to reach the end of an episode is legendary, my hero. If you have any ideas or feedback for the show, I'm always interested to hear from you. You're the best studies show. We need time for information to sink in, so I'm going to give you a five second pause, silence to reflect on one idea from the show before you jump back into your busy life.
Ready and go.